Dad, I'm scared for my future...

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 One morning, shortly before the holidays, my wife told me that my eldest son, almost 10 years old, had left me a little note on the bedside table. I smiled, despite the usual rush of any parent in the morning just before leaving for school... Indeed, my son Sacha writes me little notes from time to time, to tell me 'you are a great dad' or even 'the best dad!', often followed by... 'when can I get a Nintendo Switch!?' ;-)

    Yet, as I head to my room to retrieve this little note, smiling, my son tells me that he has taken it away in the meantime. He stammers, "It's nothing, it doesn't matter," when I ask him why. I understand from his frozen face that it wasn't the usual type of note. And as I encourage him to tell me its contents, my son bursts into tears, right there in the middle of the hallway. Not a little sorrow. A great sadness. Tears that tear your heart with sincerity, as I sometimes know him to be, so sensitive. I gently encourage him to tell me what is happening to him, the reasons for his dismay, my poor little Sacha...

'Dad... I'm scared for my future!', this cry of distress bursts out suddenly, at the cost of a great effort for him, carrying as much despair as sincerity. My heart sinks. I think at first that it's about middle school, a subject that's starting to worry him as he's about to move up to final year of primary school... But not at all. He continues between two fits of tears: 'Dad, it's been so hot these last few days, I've suffered a lot from the heat, I'm having too much trouble coping... I know it's going to get worse and worse, so I'm scared for my future.' The end of June 2025 was marked by an extreme heatwave in France.

    My poor little one. I'm petrified. It's a moment I've been dreading so much. The moment when my child lucidly realizes what's happening around him (even if he's probably confusing certain concepts). Breathless, destabilized, I see my son so affected, on such a serious subject, with an unfortunately accurate observation*. I'm holding myself back from collapsing, literally. I'm so sad for him, angry inside, at where we've collectively reached...

    Letting a few seconds pass , I suddenly pull myself together. Isn't being a parent about building the best future for your children? I'm definitely not going to tell him lies to quickly reassure him and move on... I'm not going to tell him that it's not true, or that we'll find an easy (technological) solution, or that there's nothing we can do about it... or that it's someone else's fault... etc. If I had given in to this easy option, the temptation was great, this child would have gone from anxious to... terrified!, suddenly realizing that the adult in front of him, who is supposed to be the one responsible and able to help him, is simply in denial, or cowardice or even stupidity or all of the above... thus finding himself without any conceivable and plausible solution to the concrete, real problem that worries him so much. Children are not stupid, nor are they numbed by denial. They know exactly what they are feeling. They understand that 'there is something wrong', and that it is neither fair nor reasonable no to avoid addressing this issue... at least to try! 

By the way, I'm sure that deep down, each of us, even the most skeptical, the most distant from the subject, we know that 'there is something wrong' (irreversible, dramatic) and that we can and must do better. No? But that the scale and complexity of the problem can paralyse us, sometimes lead us to take refuge in a certain denial, in oblivion, all caught up in an already exhausting daily life....

    So here I am, facing this child, this child who represents the concern, the anguish of all the others of his generation... So I have to take responsibility and face it. 'You're a father, and you have to move forward,' I tell myself. After clearing my throat and glancing at my wife , I find the strength to answer my son:

- 'Sacha, it's true that the situation isn't good and that it's not going to improve, at least not right away.' This validates his feelings and his analysis. The first step to stabilizing his emotions.

- Then, open a door, a hope. I tell him that we can still limit the damage, every degree of global warming saved is as many problems avoided.

- And finally, propose a rebound, a step forward, a break in the moribund logic. I suggest to him: 'We're going to think, together, the two of us and as a family. We're going to try to find actions that will mo in the right direction. Even if we don't solve everything, we're going to do our part, we're going to act. And through action, we're going to build beautiful things, beautiful projects, which will help to respond to this problem. But these actions, these projects will also allow us to experience beautiful moments, together or with others. Positive, interesting, motivating, even joyful experiences, which we might never have experienced if we hadn't had to face these difficulties. Moments that create shared emotions, those that add spice to a life!' 

My voice is soft and firm at the same time. Because I believe in it. Because I won't abandon my son, or the others, to his fate. We're going to act, and who knows... succeed!? How far? We'll see.

    I then hug him tightly, this beloved son. I can sense that he is already relieved. He is smiling again. nd yet he has already started suggesting ideas to me,  his voice still weak and tremulous but joyful with renewed hope. (We can cycle more, we can notes in the neighbors' mailboxes to do actions with us...). And his little brother Côme, who gets involved after witnessing the scene, surprised and concerned: ‘Dad, let's just travel by horse!’ ;-)

The enthusiasm is there, morale is back... the relevance of the solutions still needs to be worked on a little ;-)

     Then the four of us continue the discussion. Things are already getting better. I must say that I am as reassured and enthusiastic as my two sons. However, we must not dwell on emotion, even if it is crucial for generating motivation and taking the first step. So I propose a plan to them, let's not waste any time (we still have to go to school at some point...):

1. To be relevant, we will first inform ourselves, understand the important points: what are the problems caused by climate change (without forgetting the damage to biodiversity!) and what are the causes of these phenomena (they already know that oil... it's not great and that fauna and flora... it's important to take care of them).

2. To comfort ourselves, we will then list what we are already doing well (I quickly make them guess: the bike, the walking bus, not wasting... or even protecting the pair of hedgehogs who live in our garden... ;-). And to reassure ourselves, also note that we are not alone! Around us, I remind them of the friends who also go to school by bike, who take the walking bus with us, the many evenings linked to ecology at the associative café that we created with other friends and neighbors of the village... and which already shows that we can build something positive, something convivial, together. 

3. To move forward, we will then think about other actions that we can carry out - without setting limits, not holding ourselves back, while agreeing not to succeed at everything the first time, to take care of ourselves and to see all of this as opportunities, nice things to achieve. Certainly, sometimes in adversity, but that is what makes these initiatives all the more exciting and meaningful... A little help here: https://bonpote.com/en/10-easy-actions-to-go-green/

4. Take action!

These four parts should probably be dealt with in parallel, as this is more appealing, as I suggest to the children at the start of the holidays, and on separate sheets of paper to remain visual... And in hindsight, I think that a chapter on ‘adaptation’ would also be useful to reassure them about everyday life and practical matters.

So, to be continued. We'll have to come back to it regularly, especially not to forget everything once the heatwave has passed.

So, how many of us, parents or not, are convinced that we can't let this future slip away? ...but without really knowing where to start?

We can find excuses for doing nothing. Instead, we must find solutions. At least to try! Moving forward!

>> Would you be ready to embark on this type of approach?

What is your opinion? What is your experience? Do you have any advice for moving forward?

* I should point out that until now we have tried to limit the children's exposure to certain bad news (e.g. we turn off the news on the radio when they are present), while explaining important information when necessary.

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I strongly encourage you to read the following two closely related articles:

• A few random thoughts to move forward on the subject precisely (sorry for the form and it's a bit repetitive...), see in another article in the following link: https://reflexionspourlaplanete.blogspot.com/2025/07/tools-and-elements-of-understanding-to.html
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• See also the first results of our reflection work with children in the following article:  https://reflexionspourlaplanete.blogspot.com/2025/07/initiative-for-climate-and-biodiversity.html
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Xavier

xavierbouvier@gmail.com